Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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