Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
