Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize