The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
