I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We left the knife in your bed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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