I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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