I'm passing your future prison.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
