the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im holly from the hills drunk
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
