hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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