why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drunk is a universal language darling
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