he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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