i'm signing you up for texting rehab
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
