Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
