I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
