Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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