Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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