just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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