Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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