i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
