Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
