She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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