Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize