you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize