You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize