I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Who died my cat blue again?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
