and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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