I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
