I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
