i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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