My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
