After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
