I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
