New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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