whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you still have your period?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
