You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
