I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
