OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
