i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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