New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Vodka?
Forever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
