What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize