is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i now understand why vodka
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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