Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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