Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
