no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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