Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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