I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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