You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize