dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
