There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize