Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
