We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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