I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
