i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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