and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
