I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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