but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
