i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
