tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
