When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
