We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
