i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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