I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
