I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
